I'll Take Manhattan

Just wanted to post a pic of what I consider to be the most perfect cocktail in the universe, a Manhattan, created by old pal and mixologist extraordinaire Tim H. of Leopold's Kafe in Georgetown. Tim's use of just the right amount of bitters yields a lovely drink, essentially a bourbon martini, but the bitters must be right on. Too much or too little and you've got just a big ass shot of chilled bourbon. [And don't get me wrong, that works too.]

Yes, you probably know the Manhattan as that old-lady cocktail that your aunt drinks at family gatherings to dull the pain but the time has come to revamp this broad's image. With the economy in the toilet and that whole 40-hour work week deal, we need to have a cocktail such as this to keep us in [wait for it...] high spirits.

A Real Stand-up Marg

But on the upside, the Grill makes one hell of a frozen lime margarita. Look at the thick consistency of this thing. The straw wavers neither to the left or the right even after a few minutes of sitting there while I adjusted the camera settings. Solid.

The tequila ratio is pretty good too. [hiccup]

I Expect Fresh-Grilled Chicken From 'the Grill'

Ok so it happened again. I went to South Austin Grill today for lunch with the family for Mothers' Day, and ordered the Southwestern Caesar with grilled chicken and dressing on the side (of course). The chicken, which is supposed to fresh-off-the-grill hot on this salad, was indeed grilled...but cold. But before I continue, a little background is in order.

I've been going to the South Austin Grill in Old Town now for more than a decade. It is my family's joint, plain and simple. Birthdays, Mother's Day, Christmas gift certificate time, we go to the Grill. Don't get me wrong, I love TexMex food and the Grill is some of the best you'll find. But I love salads and I could never find a good salad there. So lately as the ol' metabolism continues to slow down I've been kind of down on it. I used to order the Bevo's Salad, my mother in law's fave. But it comes with cold chicken on it, which I just can't enjoy. Eating cold chicken reminds me of that scene in "Alive" where they finally... well, you know the one. It's just tasteless flesh, to be blunt. So for years I tried to order it like this: "Can I get the Bevo's Salad with the chicken but can I get the chicken hot? Like not microwaved hot but like off the grill? Like fresh cooked?" "Sure!," they'd tell me. But I'd get cold chicken every time. So then I tried the Southwestern Caesar once on a lunch date. I figured I'd ask for chicken and just deal with it that it's not cold, instead of subjecting my girlfriend to my OCD tendencies. But I was pleasantly surprised to find that the Southwestern Caesar's chicken is chargrilled! Like that's how the salad comes; if you want chicken, shrimp or steak it comes hot. I finally got it, my dream salad: cold crisp greens adorned with hot, chargrilled chicken! [With the dressing on the side.] I was so happy. I had finally found my dish at the Grill.

But every now and then they still get it wrong. Like today. I ordered the Southwestern Caesar, ready to crush some crunchy greens and right-off-the-grill chicken, but I could tell as soon as the salad was put down in front of me that the chicken was cold because there was no aroma or steam coming off of it. Even worse. The chicken was indeed chargrilled but perhaps earlier in the day and had then been refrigerated or simply left out to the point where it was now cold cooked chicken. It changes everything for me. I cannot eat cold flesh on a salad. Or rather I prefer not to, as I certainly have done it. The little black charred parts certainly don't taste very good cold and the consistency of cold chicken is dry and chewy [see aforementioned allusion to "Alive"]. I love steak, shrimp, chicken, pork, tuna, any kind of meat on a salad--but it has to be hot off the grill hot.

Gratuitous Food Pic

What you're looking at is a plate of grilled pork tenderloin and asparagus, a favorite meal of mine. I get one of the Smithfield pork tenderloins from the store, preferably seasoned but I'll get the plain ones too because I have a good marinade: olive oil, soy sauce, garlic powder, red wine, lime and pepper. But this was actually one of the peppercorn pre-seasoned models, which are pretty good. Especially on the grill.

I love love love asparagus on the grill too. I cut them off way above the stringy stalk at the bottom; I really just love the salty spears. Then I drizzle them with bacon grease--yes, you read that right--and then sprinkle a little salt and pepper and let them get a solid char and voila! I also like to sprinkle them with parmesan cheese to finish but our broke asses didn't have any of that fancy s%$#.

[And isn't my serving platter so kicky??]

Honor the Ruffage

Went to dinner at one of my favorite places tonight, Carlyle Grand in Shirlington. My husband and I once went to this joint every Friday night for about a year or very close to it. They make great salads so I would always start with a Caesar but I'd ask them to use a very light amount of dressing. I wanted them to mix it like they do for everyone else, just when it came time to dip the ladel into the vat of dressing, scoop a much much smaller scoop. Like barely dip the ladel in there. They'd be like, "do you want me to just put it on the side?" And I'd say, "No, I want to have it mixed but just with very little dressing."

After a year or so of fighting this battle--and almost always getting it just right I have to say, as Carlyle service is often impeccable--I finally decided to just swallow my croutons and make it easier on all parties involved [me, my server and most importantly my dining party] and just ask for dressing on the side. So that's how I've been ordering my Caesars at Carlyle for a while now and I've been loving it. I just dip my fork into the ramekin of dressing once and then mix, toss and cut, and it's usually perfect the first time. Might require just a couple more drops. But with each salad I find myself requiring less and less dressing. I just love the crunch of fresh romaine hearts so much.

That's why it angers me to no end when I see something like this put in front of me. Look at the pools of dressing on this salad. Beautiful crunchy earthy lettuce wet with fattening garlicky dressing. Don't get me wrong, I like salad dressing. I like ranch, vinaigrette, parmesan peppercorn... But salad dressing is meant to enhance the delicious natural flavors of the vegetables in a salad not completely mask them. I hate to be THAT customer, and 7 times out of 10 I will just deal with a mistake in my order but forgetting to put my dressing on the side is a dealbreaker for me. I have to be the one in charge of the salad dressing distribution. We snapped this photo and then pushed the salad to the end of the table. The waiter realized the error right away and rectified.

I love the Carlyle and encourage those of you who haven't gone to go. I don't blame them at all; my idiosyncrasies are my own cross to bear.

Erratum

Ok folks, my bad. I've been corrected by the TFE Finance Distribution Team for the egregious error in our Hellburger post: Hellburger does in fact offer bacon for an extra couple bucks. Our sincere apologies for this inaccuracy. Here's what happened. I had forgotten about the bacon because I disliked it so much. It's applewood smoked bacon with this sort of crust on the edges and it's not very crispy. We enjoy that backyard barbecue crunch of a couple strips of all-American Oscar Mayer bacon on our burger. But that's no excuse for fallacious editorials at Hellburger's expense.

The Fastidious Eater regrets the error.

Hellburger. Aptly Named.

So ok, Obama and Joe went to Hellburger yesterday for lunch and it was the talk of the town here in DC. If you haven't been to Hellburger you can forget it now. It was already tough to get seating in the tiny bare bones burger joint but now it will be next to impossible. And I feel compelled to tell you that despite all the hype you're going to hear about it after Obama's visit I want you to know that it is the opinion of this admittedly nascent food blogger that you're not missing out. If you like burgers cooked all the way through topped with crispy bacon and onions or even fried onions on a toasted buttery bun...beware. Because that is NOT what you are going to get at this place.

We went to Hellburger some time ago when it first opened. And I remember it so vividly because I won't go back, much to the chagrin of my husband who claimes he liked it but really just loves to go against me. I won't forget and cannot forgive the following: the not very crispy applewood smoked bacon; the sauteed mushrooms [these things look like freaking earthworms--which we adore, don't get us wrong. But these onions are brown and slimy; overly marinated and overly sauteed. I prefer either a few crispy red or Vidalia rings or fried onions but not soggy brown onions]; and the untoasted bun [plain and simple I won't stand for plain and simple bread; I prefer toasted, buttered and grilled or at the very least just toasted. Or grilled. But if grilled or toasted then definitely buttered.].

Oh yeah...and there's one more tiny minute detail about Hellburger. One caveat, if you will... And ladies you may want to sit down for this...THEY DON'T HAVE FRIES. Yes, you read that right. They do not offer fries, and what's even worse, they don't even offer chips! As a side they offer [are you ready for this?] watermelon. I love fruit, but watermelon? It's a little cheap, no? Can't we afford some fries? You know people want them! [I'm talking to the proprietor here] Or if we're sticking with the fruit maybe a nice fruit salad? Very disappointed by the watermelon, particularly because the proprietor of this joint (the dude behind Ray's the Steaks, which I also didn't care for) is doing gangbusters at both Hellburger and RtS.

Anyhow, what we did like is how Big O takes his burger. He likes it nice and simple: medium rare [which we would NEVER do but Big O can do no wrong], a piece of cheese and some "spicy mustard." He didn't want to seem bourgeois by asking specifically for Grey Poupon but we know that's what he wanted. Because that's what we like too, B-town.

Bottom line: If Big O and Joe wanted a good burger they should have turned to Shelly O. for the goods: Five Guys, easy. Where else can you get green peppers on your burger???